Y'all. Today I officially ended my utterly ridiculous 80 mile daily commute to work. It is doooooooone forever!!! Praise the Lord. Amen amen amen. All I can think of is this verse:
Psalm 18:6 Holman Christian Standard Bible (HCSB)
I called to the Lord in my distress,
and I cried to my God for help.
From His temple He heard my voice,
and my cry to Him reached His ears.
I cried to the Lord and He answered me! For five years His answer was NO, but this summer He answered YES! I could not be more relieved. This is truly monumental, and therefore worthy of a pretty epic blog post. So, behold my list of things that have occurred from my daily commute. I would like to call this "For All The Times" and below it, I will list all the things I am most excited about. Enjoy.
1. For every single day for the past 4 years that I have driven 40 miles to work, and 40 miles back...
2. For the nearly 105,000 miles I have put on my Prius in less than 4 years, plus a few thousand on my old car that only lasted the first 2 months at my job because the commute literally killed it...
3. For having to go get my oil changed and tires rotated every TWO months because that is how fast I drove 5,000 miles...
4. For the 4 times I got a nail in my tire from driving on these crazy roads...
5. For all the times I was sick, and still had to drive an hour and a half or longer just to get home after just barely surviving the work day, and then having only 3 hours until bedtime to do it all over again...
6. For all the times I was grieving the loss of a loved one, and had the world's longest drives just to get HOME to be able to deal with the grief after holding it in for basically 12 hours...
7. For mastering the art of blowing my nose one-handed (a regular occurence)...
8. For eating cereal out of a tupperware container for breakfast every morning in the car, because literally what else could I eat while driving? (always dry folks, i'm allergic to milk)
9. For the many times where I had my open cereal container on my passenger seat, suddenly had to slam on the breaks, and my cereal went flying everywhere, forcing me to stop for breakfast at mcdonalds (blegh) or go without...
10. For the many, many, many times where I forgot to pack something with me, because who can actually function leaving the house at 6:40 am?
11. For having to practically live out of my car and pack a bag every time I had something after work with church, friends, etc. and how annoying that is...
12. For all the times I was so tired of living out of my car that instead I chose to drive through horrible traffic than to have to actually put together a bag...
13. For all the times I flaked on my friends because I was too exhausted to handle being somewhere late and still having a 30-40 mile drive home afterwards...
14. For all the times I would get invited to something after work after I was already at work for the day and I did not have a bag packed with a change of clothes, etc. and therefore did not want to go...
15. For all the times my church/friends had a social event planned (or like a wedding which is all the time) for Saturday evenings, only a few hours after I get off work at 3 on Saturdays, and I either had to hang around town for hours when all I really wanted was a nap, or I drove ALL the way home, and ALL the way back just to squeeze in a 45 minute nap so I could function...
16. For all the STUPID drivers in this town...seriously, get it together people! stop dumping your loads of molasses and other things, 18 wheelers. Stop running each other over. Stop driving SLOW for NO reason other than to annoy everyone, stop freaking out over a little rain, stop freaking out because its a new school year and suddenly you have forgotten you're supposed to wake up earlier to get the kids to school...
17. For the first 2 years I was forced to listen to KSBJ on the radio, and then praise the Lord, Air1 arrived to town (thank you Jesus!)...
18. For all the times I nearly lost my life because of stupid drivers, but the Lord protected me...
19. For not once, but TWICE that our President himself, Barack Obama, freaking flew into town at RUSH HOUR and RUINED everything!! specifically the first time, during his campaign season, during RODEO SEASON, AT. RUSH. HOUR. and it took me TWO AND A HALF HOURS TO GET HOME!!! (i will never forget this...)
20. For all of the truly wonderful memories I have despite all of the above things, the amazing friendships I have gained, events I have attended, church I am a member of, mission trips I have gone on, so many good things that have made it worth it to drive so so much, I am forever grateful for these years.
and now, the things I am most excited about:
1. being 5 miles from work! Holla! Can I get an amen??
2. Being closer to my friends and my church!
3. Seeing how far my prius can go on one tank of gas...I am aiming for a month! we shall see...
4. Being awake and not exhausted every day of my life
5. my feet and knees are really excited about not being squeezed in a car for 3 hours every day after standing all day at work
6. getting to SLEEP more, hopefully to sleep in until the time I normally LEAVE for work!
7. having time and energy to read more, scrapbook more, do more THINGS!
8. being a pleasant person to be around and not so grumpy!
9. being close enough to carpool with friends to different events!
10. being close enough to be a better friend when they need me most.
11. getting to decorate my very own apartment in MY style, nobody else's! i have literally never been able to do this ever in my whole entire life
I am pretty sure there are so many other things i'm forgetting, but this gives you a little taste and peek into my life. Excited to be a less exhausted, more joyful version of myself in just a couple of days! Thank You Lord for this gift!
9.11.2014
1.14.2014
Mourning to Dancing
Psalm 30:10-12
You have turned for me my mourning into dancing;
You have loosed my sackcloth and girded me with gladness,
That my soul may sing praise to You and not be silent.
O Lord my God, I will give thanks to You forever.
One week from today my sister is having another baby! If you haven't known me for long, you have no idea what a miracle and blessing this is for her and her husband, my two nieces, and our entire family!
in April of 2012 my sister was 23 weeks pregnant with my niece Brittyn, went in for her routine appointment, and there was no heartbeat. You can read about that time in my family's life in these 2 blog posts:
No Fear in Death
Brittyn
I know a lot of people are close with their nieces and nephews, and I really am too. They have all been born or gone to heaven at crucial times in my own life and mean so much to me. Kailey (now 6) was born the night before my finals in december of my junior year of college. Yeah I bombed that first final. ;) Baby #2 we found out about on mother's day, and then 5 days later on my college graduation weekend my sister miscarried. Sweet Makenna (now 3) was born a year later when I was at the worst phase in my life of not being able to find a job and having to work retail (oh the horror) and was the biggest blessing. Angel Brittyn went to be with Jesus in the worst year of my life so far, where my faith was tested to the absolute limit like never before and I grew so much through so many horrible tragedies that year. But it has come full circle. The Lord gives and He takes away. Last year he took away both of my dad's parents, but in 7 days He is giving us another precious baby to love!
So when I say its a big deal that I will have another niece, it really is! I might cry my eyes out when I finally get to hold her. I am trusting in full confidence that all will go well with the c section and that He will take care of my sister and this little baby. Life is so precious. And my nieces bring me so much joy! When everything sucks, they make me laugh, they give me hugs (sometimes), sweet makenna tells me she loves me, genius, spunky kailey now says baylor is her favorite school ever, and I can't WAIT to see what kind of funny, sweet, smart, blessing this baby is going to be! Will she be tall enough to outgrow me, or another petite one to balance things out in my family?? #whyiseverybodysotall
You have turned for me my mourning into dancing;
You have loosed my sackcloth and girded me with gladness,
That my soul may sing praise to You and not be silent.
O Lord my God, I will give thanks to You forever.
One week from today my sister is having another baby! If you haven't known me for long, you have no idea what a miracle and blessing this is for her and her husband, my two nieces, and our entire family!
in April of 2012 my sister was 23 weeks pregnant with my niece Brittyn, went in for her routine appointment, and there was no heartbeat. You can read about that time in my family's life in these 2 blog posts:
No Fear in Death
Brittyn
I know a lot of people are close with their nieces and nephews, and I really am too. They have all been born or gone to heaven at crucial times in my own life and mean so much to me. Kailey (now 6) was born the night before my finals in december of my junior year of college. Yeah I bombed that first final. ;) Baby #2 we found out about on mother's day, and then 5 days later on my college graduation weekend my sister miscarried. Sweet Makenna (now 3) was born a year later when I was at the worst phase in my life of not being able to find a job and having to work retail (oh the horror) and was the biggest blessing. Angel Brittyn went to be with Jesus in the worst year of my life so far, where my faith was tested to the absolute limit like never before and I grew so much through so many horrible tragedies that year. But it has come full circle. The Lord gives and He takes away. Last year he took away both of my dad's parents, but in 7 days He is giving us another precious baby to love!
So when I say its a big deal that I will have another niece, it really is! I might cry my eyes out when I finally get to hold her. I am trusting in full confidence that all will go well with the c section and that He will take care of my sister and this little baby. Life is so precious. And my nieces bring me so much joy! When everything sucks, they make me laugh, they give me hugs (sometimes), sweet makenna tells me she loves me, genius, spunky kailey now says baylor is her favorite school ever, and I can't WAIT to see what kind of funny, sweet, smart, blessing this baby is going to be! Will she be tall enough to outgrow me, or another petite one to balance things out in my family?? #whyiseverybodysotall
1.01.2014
Reflections on 2013
Isaiah 43:19
Look, I am about to do something new;
even now it is coming. Do you not see it?
Indeed, I will make a way in the wilderness,
rivers in the desert.
The older I get, the more glad I am to say goodbye to one year and hello to another. Goodbye to the hard times, and hope for good times ahead. 2013 was a good year, but a loooong, hard year. For my family, we lost both of my dad's parents between June and September (not to mention the 6 weeks by grandpa was in and out of the hospital before then) and have been dealing with so many hard things because of it. Cleaning out their house of 60+ years, bringing home a lot of treasured items and trying to fit them in my parents' house, as well as the endless amount of bills and mail we get still every.single.day addressed to either my grandma or my grandpa. I don't know when or if that will ever end! But with all of that, I have had so many precious memories brought back, so many things to think over and be thankful for, and more time with my family than we have had in a long time.
The biggest thing I took away from this year, was really understanding the importance of the fact that I am part of God's family. My dad was adopted which I am extremely thankful for, more now than ever before. He never knew his biological parents, but it didn't ever matter to him because grandma and grandpa showed him so much love and never even spoke about it. They brought him in and loved him as their own. That is what God does for each one of us who accept Christ as Lord and Savior and join the family of God! Such a perfect picture of God's love for me was displayed through my grandparents obedience and love in adopting my dad as their son.
14 For all who are being led by the Spirit of God, these are sons of God. 15 For you have not received a spirit of slavery leading to fear again, but you have received a spirit of adoption as sons by which we cry out, “Abba! Father!” 16 The Spirit Himself testifies with our spirit that we are children of God...(Romans 8:14-16)
So for me I want to always remember that I am a child of God, loved as His own, even without earning it. I want to ACT like a child of God in 2014. To clothe myself with Christ. I don't really do new years resolutions, but these are some goals I have for 2014 and we'll see which ones happen or not!
1. It is time to MOVE OUT of my parents house. Can I get an amen?? Praying and hoping by the grace of God I can find a cheap enough, safe enough place to live close to work once I pay off my next student loan in march/april.
2. I would like to figure out how I can either be more fulfilled in my job or figure out what I want to do with my life. Well I know what I want to do with my life. I want to marry someone who makes a decent amount of money, have & raise some babies, and run an etsy store of some kind using my creative talents to make and sell things. buuuut that's not totally realistic =/
3. This year I am going to look for somewhere new to serve at my church. i had a rough 2013 and was not really in a place to be serving regularly, but I am ready now. Maybe the preschool/children's ministry or something? I don't even know?
4. My friend told me about this cool organization through the furniture bank that uses donated furniture to design and decorate houses for low-income families...so that sounds awesome and I'm going to look into joining!
5. I want to read more. If you compare me to my sister, I feel like I am wasting my life away. just read her blog. But basically, more reading, less tv and wasting my life away. to start, the newest book my mother gave me "If men are like buses, then how do I catch one?" ;)
6. My friends will appreciate that I will try to cheer on the aggies more instead of hating on them so much. Trying to let go of the bitterness of them abandoning us, especially now that we are big 12 champs. =)
7. My niece who is scheduled to be born on Jan 21st is going to be getting lots of love from auntie Em! Praise God for her life. Praying daily for her health and growth.
Look, I am about to do something new;
even now it is coming. Do you not see it?
Indeed, I will make a way in the wilderness,
rivers in the desert.
The older I get, the more glad I am to say goodbye to one year and hello to another. Goodbye to the hard times, and hope for good times ahead. 2013 was a good year, but a loooong, hard year. For my family, we lost both of my dad's parents between June and September (not to mention the 6 weeks by grandpa was in and out of the hospital before then) and have been dealing with so many hard things because of it. Cleaning out their house of 60+ years, bringing home a lot of treasured items and trying to fit them in my parents' house, as well as the endless amount of bills and mail we get still every.single.day addressed to either my grandma or my grandpa. I don't know when or if that will ever end! But with all of that, I have had so many precious memories brought back, so many things to think over and be thankful for, and more time with my family than we have had in a long time.
The biggest thing I took away from this year, was really understanding the importance of the fact that I am part of God's family. My dad was adopted which I am extremely thankful for, more now than ever before. He never knew his biological parents, but it didn't ever matter to him because grandma and grandpa showed him so much love and never even spoke about it. They brought him in and loved him as their own. That is what God does for each one of us who accept Christ as Lord and Savior and join the family of God! Such a perfect picture of God's love for me was displayed through my grandparents obedience and love in adopting my dad as their son.
14 For all who are being led by the Spirit of God, these are sons of God. 15 For you have not received a spirit of slavery leading to fear again, but you have received a spirit of adoption as sons by which we cry out, “Abba! Father!” 16 The Spirit Himself testifies with our spirit that we are children of God...(Romans 8:14-16)
So for me I want to always remember that I am a child of God, loved as His own, even without earning it. I want to ACT like a child of God in 2014. To clothe myself with Christ. I don't really do new years resolutions, but these are some goals I have for 2014 and we'll see which ones happen or not!
1. It is time to MOVE OUT of my parents house. Can I get an amen?? Praying and hoping by the grace of God I can find a cheap enough, safe enough place to live close to work once I pay off my next student loan in march/april.
2. I would like to figure out how I can either be more fulfilled in my job or figure out what I want to do with my life. Well I know what I want to do with my life. I want to marry someone who makes a decent amount of money, have & raise some babies, and run an etsy store of some kind using my creative talents to make and sell things. buuuut that's not totally realistic =/
3. This year I am going to look for somewhere new to serve at my church. i had a rough 2013 and was not really in a place to be serving regularly, but I am ready now. Maybe the preschool/children's ministry or something? I don't even know?
4. My friend told me about this cool organization through the furniture bank that uses donated furniture to design and decorate houses for low-income families...so that sounds awesome and I'm going to look into joining!
5. I want to read more. If you compare me to my sister, I feel like I am wasting my life away. just read her blog. But basically, more reading, less tv and wasting my life away. to start, the newest book my mother gave me "If men are like buses, then how do I catch one?" ;)
6. My friends will appreciate that I will try to cheer on the aggies more instead of hating on them so much. Trying to let go of the bitterness of them abandoning us, especially now that we are big 12 champs. =)
7. My niece who is scheduled to be born on Jan 21st is going to be getting lots of love from auntie Em! Praise God for her life. Praying daily for her health and growth.
10.05.2013
The Months I Couldn't Write
The last 5 months of my life have been crazy. So crazy I couldn't talk about it on here because it has been too much to process. But I've realized the last few days that I really do need to process these things, otherwise I will keep exploding on people when the small things in life get to me. It is okay for me to process the big things in order to be able to function through the small irritations and troubles of life.
The last post that I wrote was one week after both of my grandpas ended up in the hospital for different reasons. My dad's dad who was 93 had a heart attack and spent the next 6 weeks or so going through rehab trying to fight his way back to good health. In the meantime we moved my grandma out of the house they lived in for over 60 years to an assisted living home in the hopes that grandpa would join her soon. Well on June 14th my grandpa went to be with Jesus and everything changed. I've lived my whole life with all 4 grandparents and suddenly one of them was gone, and another one was completely heartbroken from losing her husband of nearly 73 years.
In July we spent a week cleaning out their house and getting it ready to sell which broke my dad's heart. We kept a lot of great treasures, had a huge estate sale, and donated the rest. Just a few days before this I found out I was going to be going on a mission trip to Boston since only 2% of Bostonians attend Evangelical churches, my church wants to do what we can to reach those people for Jesus Christ. I also was promoted at work in the middle of all of this and did not know what to do with myself.
I went to Boston while they moved grandma down here and learned what it really means to forsake your family for the Gospel, to a small extent. Because only 3 weeks later in the middle of the night we got a phone call that they were rushing grandma to the hospital, and 3 hours later she was gone. I was unable to attend her funeral because I had just taken off so much time for my Boston trip earlier in the month.
Its hard to process and explain the feelings of losing 2 dear grandparents in a span of 3 months. Its hard to explain what it is like to have their stuff all over the house, stuff that smells like them. With hundreds of their pictures, their furniture, grandpa's 98 year old lamp, their marriage license from 1940. My life is not the same without them here. They are so much a part of my family and where I came from and who I am. They adopted my dad and took him in as their own son, and taught him to love Jesus. They trusted Jesus fully with their lives, with my dad and my uncle, and with me, my sisters, and my cousin's lives. I spent the evening of my grandma's funeral last week pouring over pictures and letters from them, and how much they loved us. My sister said it very well in her blog which you should read here.
I don't really know whats going on with my life right now. I got an unexpected promotion that still doesn't pay as much as I hoped and I'm still living with my parents. My grandparents are gone and we have all their stuff. My sister who lost her precious baby girl at 23 weeks last year, is now past 23 weeks with another precious girl due in January. I had an amazing time in Boston and want to go back. God keeps reminding me to pray for that city. I don't know what in the heck is going on with our government right now, but I do know if we had more believers in places like Boston, we could have a much more positive influence right now and not send America down the toilet.
My sister also wrote today about "laughing at the days to come" from Proverbs 31 which I really need to learn how to do. Trusting God completely when so many things are hard and confusing is so important and so hard to do. I can't even talk about it which is why I haven't. I haven't had words so I have been impatient and irritated and tired and lazy lately. I have had no joy and I'm ready to get out of this funk. I don't really know if this all makes sense and flows together, but frankly thats pretty much how the last 5 months of my life have felt.
The last post that I wrote was one week after both of my grandpas ended up in the hospital for different reasons. My dad's dad who was 93 had a heart attack and spent the next 6 weeks or so going through rehab trying to fight his way back to good health. In the meantime we moved my grandma out of the house they lived in for over 60 years to an assisted living home in the hopes that grandpa would join her soon. Well on June 14th my grandpa went to be with Jesus and everything changed. I've lived my whole life with all 4 grandparents and suddenly one of them was gone, and another one was completely heartbroken from losing her husband of nearly 73 years.
In July we spent a week cleaning out their house and getting it ready to sell which broke my dad's heart. We kept a lot of great treasures, had a huge estate sale, and donated the rest. Just a few days before this I found out I was going to be going on a mission trip to Boston since only 2% of Bostonians attend Evangelical churches, my church wants to do what we can to reach those people for Jesus Christ. I also was promoted at work in the middle of all of this and did not know what to do with myself.
I went to Boston while they moved grandma down here and learned what it really means to forsake your family for the Gospel, to a small extent. Because only 3 weeks later in the middle of the night we got a phone call that they were rushing grandma to the hospital, and 3 hours later she was gone. I was unable to attend her funeral because I had just taken off so much time for my Boston trip earlier in the month.
Its hard to process and explain the feelings of losing 2 dear grandparents in a span of 3 months. Its hard to explain what it is like to have their stuff all over the house, stuff that smells like them. With hundreds of their pictures, their furniture, grandpa's 98 year old lamp, their marriage license from 1940. My life is not the same without them here. They are so much a part of my family and where I came from and who I am. They adopted my dad and took him in as their own son, and taught him to love Jesus. They trusted Jesus fully with their lives, with my dad and my uncle, and with me, my sisters, and my cousin's lives. I spent the evening of my grandma's funeral last week pouring over pictures and letters from them, and how much they loved us. My sister said it very well in her blog which you should read here.
I don't really know whats going on with my life right now. I got an unexpected promotion that still doesn't pay as much as I hoped and I'm still living with my parents. My grandparents are gone and we have all their stuff. My sister who lost her precious baby girl at 23 weeks last year, is now past 23 weeks with another precious girl due in January. I had an amazing time in Boston and want to go back. God keeps reminding me to pray for that city. I don't know what in the heck is going on with our government right now, but I do know if we had more believers in places like Boston, we could have a much more positive influence right now and not send America down the toilet.
My sister also wrote today about "laughing at the days to come" from Proverbs 31 which I really need to learn how to do. Trusting God completely when so many things are hard and confusing is so important and so hard to do. I can't even talk about it which is why I haven't. I haven't had words so I have been impatient and irritated and tired and lazy lately. I have had no joy and I'm ready to get out of this funk. I don't really know if this all makes sense and flows together, but frankly thats pretty much how the last 5 months of my life have felt.
5.05.2013
Heritage
I can't even begin to describe how incredibly blessed I know I am and how blessed I feel after the week my family has had. Sometimes its easy to forget that it is unusual to be 26 years old and still have both sets of my grandparents living and married happily. That is what I have. I've never known a life without all of my grandparents full of love for each other and our family.
A week ago Friday I was on my lunch break and my dad texted me to call him which is highly unusual. He said "I just wanted to let you know that Grandpa King had a mild heart attack. But it's OKAY. He is OKAY, don't worry, he's going to be FINE, don't get upset, its OKAY." He knows me all too well that I cry about everything. So my dad flew up there to be with his parents and stayed all week. It was really weird timing because that night I was driving up to go to a retreat with the singles ministry at my church out in the woods with like no cell reception. Literally the night before I prayed and asked God to protect my family and my friends because it seems like every time there is a retreat or God is working, satan likes to attack. So I just had to go on the retreat and trust that God would take care of my grandpa.
Of course when I got a phone call from my mom Sat. afternoon and I couldn't hear her on the other line I was freaking out that something had happened. And I texted her but didn't hear back and I had to go into this session for an hour not knowing what was going on. I just had to pray and trust. When I got out I saw that my mom texted me that HER dad was put in the hospital with a mild stroke. I was like you can't be serious, not both of my grandpas at the same time. Please Lord, no. I could get texts to go through but not phone calls so it was a lot of scattered details and I basically had to wait until I got home Sunday afternoon to figure out what was going on. Talk about having to trust the Lord. My friend Amanda reminded me that obviously God had me at this retreat for a reason while all of this was going on.
Thankfully my little sister and her husband had already planned to come down to Houston that weekend for my sister's birthday so my mom didn't have to be alone all weekend. They actually live in OK about 30ish minutes from my grandparents so they went back on Monday and went to visit my grandparents. My grandma would not leave grandpa's side. She slept in the hospital every night until he was released. Have I mentioned yet that August is their 73rd anniversary? True story. Here is a picture of all of us from their 70th anniversary party:
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On Thursday my grandpa was released from the hospital and put in a nursing home for skilled care to have physical therapy to get stronger because he is very weak. My grandma was moved into assisted living because she cannot live home alone anymore after this. My grandparents have lived in the same house for over 60 YEARS. Together. They were separated for the first time which was the most heartbreaking thing for the entire family. My dad spent the next few nights with my grandpa in the nursing home and one of their other relatives spent a couple nights with grandma in assisted living so she wouldn't be alone at first. Grandpa did really good with his exercizes on Friday and his mind is so clear and he is anxious to be reunited with grandma.
When me, my mom, my older sister Sarah and her family arrived on Saturday we went straight to see Grandma first. It was heartbreaking just knowing grandma wasn't at home, that she was apart from grandpa, and then to see that she was upset about the whole situation. We left there and took her with us to go see grandpa all together with my other 2 sisters and other brother in law. I just cried the whole way there, the reality of it all hit me.
Once we got to the nursing home grandma just lit up. She was more herself and in better spirits being with grandpa. It was so good for my heart and so good and so healthy for both of them to see that the other was okay. I think it really motivated grandma to know that she was going to have to make the best of it. Our hope is that within 30 days grandpa will be strong enough to move in with grandma in assisted living. You can read my sister Allison's take on that day in her blogpost below:
http://sayingthingsoutloud.wordpress.com/2013/05/04/shadow/
Here are some of my favorite things my grandparents said on that couple of hours when we were all together:
Grandpa: I would've combed my hair but I didn't have time
Grandma to my nieces: Grandpa loves little girls!
Grandpa: I love big girls too (he looked right at me and my sisters when he said that and I wanted to burst into tears)
Grandma: Without the Lord you don't have anything. He has gotten us through so much and been so good to us.
Grandma: Well we're just the last of the Mohicans!
We helped grandma the rest of the day get settled in and bring her everything she needed including lots of pictures, their bright orange bedroom furniture, their really old glass lamp with flowers on it, and her turquoise phone. We set up that room with room for grandpa including both of their recliners just waiting for him to arrive.
4.14.2013
Final BEW Weightloss Totals
Today is one year since my niece Brittyn was born sleeping at 23 weeks to my sister Sarah and her husband Casey. My sister decided in January to start a weightloss competition in her name and I decided to join in. You can read about it more here.
See below my before and after pictures. On the left of each are the before, and the right of each is the after. I probably should've taken the after pics before I went and ate a huge steak dinner for my parents' birthdays but oh well. ;)
Weight Loss Goal by April 14: Lose 13 pounds
Pounds lost: 11!!
Total percentage of weight loss: 7.69%!
I am quite proud of myself even though I didn't make my whole goal, but that was my own fault, I could've done better at times but overall I am very proud and I hope to lose 7 more pounds (maybe by this summer?) and drop a pants size. But I already feel a lot better and my clothes are looser and I know I can continue on.
I am also extremely proud of my sister Sarah for losing 16.8 pounds!! Unbelievable. I know God has great plans for her life and I pray always that He continues to turn her "mourning into dancing" as she lives her life following Him.
For the most part I did okay today remembering Brittyn. I definitely cried on the way to church, and I definitely, definitely cried when we sang It is well with my soul in church, especially when Pastor Gregg said that "those who hurt the most and the deepest are the ones who most need to sing It Is Well and mean it." A to the men. The thing that gives me the most joy and peace is knowing how much her little life is impacting people and for years to come will literally impact hundreds and maybe thousands of people in Uganda through a well being built in her name by money raised by family and friends. Incredible!
I'm so glad I was able to give to that cause and know that my angel niece will not be forgotten.
See below my before and after pictures. On the left of each are the before, and the right of each is the after. I probably should've taken the after pics before I went and ate a huge steak dinner for my parents' birthdays but oh well. ;)
Weight Loss Goal by April 14: Lose 13 pounds
Pounds lost: 11!!
Total percentage of weight loss: 7.69%!
I am quite proud of myself even though I didn't make my whole goal, but that was my own fault, I could've done better at times but overall I am very proud and I hope to lose 7 more pounds (maybe by this summer?) and drop a pants size. But I already feel a lot better and my clothes are looser and I know I can continue on.
I am also extremely proud of my sister Sarah for losing 16.8 pounds!! Unbelievable. I know God has great plans for her life and I pray always that He continues to turn her "mourning into dancing" as she lives her life following Him.
For the most part I did okay today remembering Brittyn. I definitely cried on the way to church, and I definitely, definitely cried when we sang It is well with my soul in church, especially when Pastor Gregg said that "those who hurt the most and the deepest are the ones who most need to sing It Is Well and mean it." A to the men. The thing that gives me the most joy and peace is knowing how much her little life is impacting people and for years to come will literally impact hundreds and maybe thousands of people in Uganda through a well being built in her name by money raised by family and friends. Incredible!
I'm so glad I was able to give to that cause and know that my angel niece will not be forgotten.
4.07.2013
On My Mind
I have not been doing so well the last several weeks. I have been stressed out at work, at church, and I am just worn out. In the back of my mind for weeks has been reliving those same days from last year and so many unexpected awful, tragic things that happened to me and my family and friends. You can read my blog post from a year ago tomorrow on Easter Sunday here.
It is hard to relive all of that. I will post my blog from 2 days after this one in a few days; its just crazy how God knows the words you will need to sometimes speak to yourself because things only got worse over the next few days between April 10-16th last year. My heart breaks when I think about it and I know this week is going to be hard. At the same time my faith was built deeper and stronger through a lot of testing last year.
I have no idea really what specifically is God's purpose for my life, or at least how He will carry it out. I know I am here to bring glory to His name and spread the truth of His Gospel to those who don't know Him. I have been studying a book called "no other gods" by Kelly Minter and it has been SO good for this time of my life. My own goals for my life should never be a god or something I put before God's purpose for my life. Would I really love to move out of my parents house and closer to downtown so I could be near my friends? Yes!! Would I really love to have a job working as an interior designer like I went to school for?" YES! Would I really love to get married sometime in the near future (like before I'm 30)? Yes I would! But I know I often idolize those things and envy what others have when really God has His own purpose and plan for my life that I don't quite understand but I have to trust in it. However I have been extremely grumpy and frustrated lately because I have been getting in the way of believing that. If I would just remember what I learned last year about God's sovereignty and faithfulness it might help me to get through this seemingly unending trial that has been going on for 4 years now of trying to figure out what direction I'm going in.
It is hard to relive all of that. I will post my blog from 2 days after this one in a few days; its just crazy how God knows the words you will need to sometimes speak to yourself because things only got worse over the next few days between April 10-16th last year. My heart breaks when I think about it and I know this week is going to be hard. At the same time my faith was built deeper and stronger through a lot of testing last year.
I have no idea really what specifically is God's purpose for my life, or at least how He will carry it out. I know I am here to bring glory to His name and spread the truth of His Gospel to those who don't know Him. I have been studying a book called "no other gods" by Kelly Minter and it has been SO good for this time of my life. My own goals for my life should never be a god or something I put before God's purpose for my life. Would I really love to move out of my parents house and closer to downtown so I could be near my friends? Yes!! Would I really love to have a job working as an interior designer like I went to school for?" YES! Would I really love to get married sometime in the near future (like before I'm 30)? Yes I would! But I know I often idolize those things and envy what others have when really God has His own purpose and plan for my life that I don't quite understand but I have to trust in it. However I have been extremely grumpy and frustrated lately because I have been getting in the way of believing that. If I would just remember what I learned last year about God's sovereignty and faithfulness it might help me to get through this seemingly unending trial that has been going on for 4 years now of trying to figure out what direction I'm going in.
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